Watch Your Language!

Updated: Apr 13

What do you say to yourself about yourself? Would you say those things to your best friend? If not, it's time to be nicer to yourself, say positive, uplifting things about you; they are true! There are some words and phrases that are secret code for the Genie (aka your subconscious mind- read my blog article "The Genie").

I'll try:

To the Genie, this is code for "I'm not committed to this 100%." You wouldn't say "I'll try" if you fully intended on doing something. You tell your coworker, "I'll try to make your son's wedding". Maybe you want to go, but if something better comes up, you want an out; maybe you don't really intend to go, but you don't want your coworker to feel bad, so you tell yourself, "well I said I would try to go". Another use of "I'll try", is an excuse for failure in advance. "I'm trying to stop smoking", "I'm trying to forgive her", "I'm trying to find a job". It is actually impossible to "try" to do something. Put a pen or pencil on the table in front of you. Now "try" to pick it up. No, don't pick it up; just "try" to pick it up. Do you feel a small sense of frustration because you know you can pick it up, but you are only "trying" to pick it up? Instead of saying "I'll try," say, "I'm working on it," "I'm making an effort," etc. As Yoda said, "Do or do not; there is no try."

I can't:

The Genie translates this to "I won't". These words shut down the subconscious mind to be able to help you. "I can't" means I haven't made an effort to even think about possibilities. I have decided I don't have the ability to do something and I'm not going to accept ideas about how I could do it. I have decided I don't want to do something and I'm not going to do it, but I want to please others, so I'll say I can't. The Genie has nothing to work with here. If I want to do something, but I think I don't have the ability, I need to figure out why I think that; challenge and release it. I can say, "I want such-and-such or I want to do x,y and z. Then I allow the Genie to go to work to give me ideas and resources to have or do it. If I say, "I can't" because I don't want to do something, I don't have to say I can't do it- it's ok that I don't want or don't choose to do something. I can choose not to do it; it doesn't mean I can't do it. I could if I wanted to. If you think you can or you think you can't- you're right: Henry Ford.

I don't know:

When I say I don't know, I'm saying "I don't want to know". The Genie responds, "As you wish," and buries it in amnesia and denial. When we were children, we learned to say "I don't know" to avoid getting in trouble. "Why did you hit your sister?", "I don't know." "Where is your homework?", "I don't know", "Do you like me better than Johnny?", "I don't know". The thing is we really did know, but we were wanting to avoid punishment, having to do something we didn't want to, telling someone something that might hurt their feelings, or a number of other reasons that could end in negative consequences. We thought saying "I don't know", was a magic phrase and it worked often enough to reinforce that belief. How could there be a negative response if we didn't know something?

As adults we are still using "I don't know" to avoid negative consequences but also to avoid dealing with negative emotions and memories. This is much more detrimental. I ask myself, "how do I get over my fear of flying?" If I answer "I don't know,", I won't find out. I will be limited in my ability to use some types of transportation. I ask myself, "why do I get so angry when I think someone is exerting authority over me?" If I answer "I don't know," I may have negative consequences with my boss at work, if I'm pulled over for speeding, if I have a difference of opinion with my spouse, etc. Instead, I'll say, "I don't know yet," or "I want to know" or "I'll find out". The Genie will say, "Yes, master", and go to work to find the answer for me.


Hypnotherapy is a tool to help you release unwanted emotions, limiting beliefs, painful memories and other things holding you back. You will understand why you believe you will fail at something you want to do, which is why you tell yourself you're "trying"; to find out why you think you can't do something or don't want to do something that would be good for you; to learn what you have buried in your subconscious that you need or want to know. Once you are able to access these things in your subconscious mind, the hypnotherapist can guide you in working out these underlying problems so you are able to finally release them. Once they are released, you will be much more able to direct the Genie of your subconscious mind to bring you your true desires. To learn more about hypnotherapy, visit

Michelle Nealey

Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist

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