Updated: Apr 13
People of many countries, cultures, religions and languages throughout history have told stories of beings who could grant your wishes and deepest desires. Often the hero of the story had to be careful what he or she wished for and how the wish was phrased in order to get what he or she truly wanted.
Even today, we encourage our children to believe, dream, hope and wish for their dreams to come true. We all would like to have control of an all powerful being who would grant us our desires of love, wealth, the perfect job/career, happiness, etc.
The truth is we do have a very powerful entity which is granting our desires all the time. It is called our subconscious mind. Why then are we not getting what we truly want? Why are we getting so much of what we don't want?
The Subconscious Mind
The subconscious mind is just like a genie. It exists to serve you. It does not recognize right or wrong, good or bad. Whatever you think or speak, it says "Your wish is my command". But like the hero in the stories, you must be careful what you wish for and how you phrase the wish you speak to the genie.
Speak What You Want, Not What You Don't Want
If I say, "Don't think about pink elephants", what's the image that immediately pops into your head? A pink elephant, right? Our subconscious mind is like Google in that way. If I put in the browser, "I don't want to see pink elephants", what will come up? Pink elephants. The subconscious doesn't recognize the words don't, not, no, etc. It just recognizes the key words and takes it to mean that is what you want. So if you say, "I don't want to meet another man like my ex", what is the Genie going to send you? More men like your ex. So instead say, "I want to meet a good man who will love and respect me". Don't add, "unlike my ex". Don't say "I don't want to be in debt anymore." What will the Genie do? Bring all kinds of circumstances to keep you in debt. Instead say, "I want to be financially free." The subconscious will then go to work for you to find ways to do that.
How does it feel when you say: "I'm depressed; my life stinks, I hate my life". Depressing, right? When you say "I am", you are making the next statement your identity. When you say, "I'm depressed," the Genie says, "Yes, master, I can do that for you"; and brings you more thoughts, memories and circumstances to be depressed about. It's the same with, "I'm so mad at her", "I'm afraid I'll always be poor", etc.
I lost my husband to a heart attack in 2005. For ten years I told myself I was going to be alone the rest of my life. No man would want to take on me and my baggage. Yet I really wanted someone to love and to love me. For ten years the Genie honored my wish to be alone. Then Christmas Eve of 2015 I was talking with my friend. She encouraged me to find someone; that I deserved for someone to love me and to be my partner and companion. I began to believe it was possible and started searching online. The very next month I met a nice man online and we started talking. We had our first date by the end of January 2016, were engaged by April and married in June. We have now been happily married for almost 6 years.
It feels so much better to say: "I'm awesome! Life is great! I love my life! I'm happy, I'm whole, I'm worth it , I'm deserving of love"! Write out 20 positive affirmations about who you are and what you want. Recite them 12 times, 3 times a day. At first you will feel like some of the statements are not completely true. Keep going. Your subconscious will begin to feel safe with the new statements and give place for them.
So, you say, "I'm saying what I want; I'm reciting my affirmations, why am I still getting what I don't want? It's because the subconscious can only hold one core belief to base emotions on at a time, and we act according to how we feel. The subconscious cannot hold a contradicting belief at the same time, even if the core belief is negative and the new belief is positive. The new positive belief will not replace the old negative belief. We can keep good feelings and behaviors going with positive affirmations and self talk, but if we don't release that negative core belief, when a circumstance comes along that triggers the old negative emotions and memories, we are likely to revert to the old behaviors and feelings.
There are many ways to release negative, limiting core beliefs. I have tried many of them. The fastest, most effective way I have found is through hypnotherapy. As I have studied to become a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, I have had many sessions myself to work on my own core beliefs. I have been able to release many unwanted emotions and limiting beliefs, defused painful memories and made new, healthier decisions about how I think and perceive things. I am getting more of what I want in life and less of what I don't.
For example; my first session, I worked on my lifelong issue with responsibility. I had a limiting belief that I not only had the responsibility for everything in my own life, but I also had the responsibility to take care of my husband, children, extended family and friends and make sure they were happy and their lives worked out for them. It was exhausting. I limited close friendships so as not to take on more responsibility. I had little energy or motivation to do the things I felt I was responsible to do. It made me feel like I was a bad person.
As I was guided through the hypnotherapy session, I went back to a memory of when I was 4 or 5 years old. I had a little sister who was very precocious and into everything. Somehow I got it into my childish thinking that it was my responsibility to take care of her and keep her out of stuff. I was able to help 4 year old me understand that our mom was right there. It was her responsibility to take care of my sister, not mine. My mother loved me and didn't expect me to do that. Since that session, which has been over 2 years ago, I have been released from that feeling of having to be responsible for others' happiness. It is a huge relief and I am much more balanced. Now I am able to help others as a hypnotherapist to work through their issues and get to where the Genie of their subconscious mind begins to bring them what they really want in their lives. To learn more about hypnotherapy, visit peaceofmindhypnotherapy.life, or see the contact info below.
Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist